Today, when I woke up early this morning I cant help the feeling of intense hatred and sorrow. I've been thinking of going away with my daughter to a far away place that no one can reach just to be able to have a peace of mind. I am not happy with what I am now, in this house. I feel like a prison full of gargoyles with knives in my neck ready to strike. I hate myself for being not ready for this situation emotionally and financially. I hate my partner for not giving extra effort to be able to lighten up the situation. I hate my current job because they are very irritating in regards to employee relations. Most of all because they give sanctions or memos or whatever to those who advice to the officer in duty. I mean come on, they wanted me to notify them and I did it directly to the officer in charge 2 hrs before the duty and now they giving me a memo explaining why I didn't even advice them! what the hell! They said I have to also text certain person to notify.and they not even paying me good. I hate everything..
I wish I could find a good paying job that will make me financially stable and independent. I wanted to fix everything for my future family, hopefully my partner will do his part. I wanted to show them all that I can do it. Dear God help me to be respectful despite the situation. I just need to pray often to lessen my intense hatred. Now, i am not even looking at my enemies to be able to avoid complications and focus on the goal to be able to get out of this black hole. I am very pissed, I like to punch their faces. But I have to contain myslf as much as possible.
Hopefully, when the time comes I will fulfill my goal. May God help me, and to those who degrade me every time and hour of my life with or without me knowing may the creator bring judgement equal to what you have been doing.in due time.
